The rift

                                                                                                     

                                                                                                   
                                                                                                       In memoriam
                                                                                                       Pablo Molinari
                                                                                                    


There was this rift in the family
when two of the dearest died
eight years apart

then another one died
dearest and closest
a beacon of light
lost in his suffering
and his efforts to interpret life
and his next of kin

tender and brightest he left
creating a dark and awkward hiatus
leaving behind
an area gloomed by questions
unanswered 

five more dearest were born 
into the family
other generations
as beautiful clever and darling 
as their elders

II

life goes on 
taking its toll it
goes on
adding and subtracting

whatever took place
goes on taking place
unawares or conscientiously

people react differently
to loss and bereavement
there are those who turn to God 
others to their next of kin
or friends

or turn into another
a shadow of themselves
inhabited by those
who left

there are no answers
and no solutions
to missing the dead

only a whiff of light
that turns experience
into partial understanding
into meaning or the lack of it

III

how can others grasp
the feeling of despair
of the bereaved
before the tragedies
that could have been
avoided

who will concur
agree accept
with them
other than themselves

nobody dares

there is little
they can do
other than empathize

and people will not
for it is to enter
themselves
into the domain
of gloom

IV

one does not forget
the dearest dead
those closest to ourselves
siblings and offsprings

for were they not
other versions 
of ourselves

were they not ourselves
who partly died with them
and live the terms
of our separation
as an ongoing experience

their absence as a presence
a reminder
that we in ourselves
are not complete

that there are
depths of meaning
layers of understanding
and misunderstandings
unresolved

V   

one does not weep
out loud
as when they had 
barely departed

there is the lingering
feeling of absence
of being torn apart
from those who should
be growing older with us

sharing discussing
planning quarrelling
making up
trying to come to terms
with differences

one has lost worlds
of compatibility
worlds of caring
and be cared for

VI

their absence is still
relevant
discouraging
poignant
meaningful

their past and 
their unachieved present
reel on 
a film in process
every day 
of every week
of every month
of every year

through different
moods and perceptions
rewinding in real time
or fast forward 

it reels on.