In memoriam
Pablo Molinari
There was this rift in the family
when two of the dearest died
eight years apart
then another one died
dearest and closest
a beacon of light
lost in his suffering
and his efforts to interpret life
and his next of kin
tender and brightest he left
creating a dark and awkward hiatus
leaving behind
an area gloomed by questions
unanswered
five more dearest were born
into the family
other generations
as beautiful clever and darling
as their elders
II
life goes on
taking its toll it
goes on
adding and subtracting
whatever took place
goes on taking place
unawares or conscientiously
people react differently
to loss and bereavement
there are those who turn to God
others to their next of kin
or friends
or turn into another
a shadow of themselves
inhabited by those
who left
there are no answers
and no solutions
to missing the dead
only a whiff of light
that turns experience
into partial understanding
into meaning or the lack of it
III
how can others grasp
the feeling of despair
of the bereaved
before the tragedies
that could have been
avoided
who will concur
agree accept
with them
other than themselves
nobody dares
there is little
they can do
other than empathize
and people will not
for it is to enter
themselves
into the domain
of gloom
IV
one does not forget
the dearest dead
those closest to ourselves
siblings and offsprings
for were they not
other versions
of ourselves
were they not ourselves
who partly died with them
and live the terms
of our separation
as an ongoing experience
their absence as a presence
a reminder
that we in ourselves
are not complete
that there are
depths of meaning
layers of understanding
and misunderstandings
unresolved
V
one does not weep
out loud
as when they had
barely departed
there is the lingering
feeling of absence
of being torn apart
from those who should
be growing older with us
sharing discussing
planning quarrelling
making up
trying to come to terms
with differences
one has lost worlds
of compatibility
worlds of caring
and be cared for
VI
their absence is still
relevant
discouraging
poignant
meaningful
their past and
their unachieved present
reel on
a film in process
every day
of every week
of every month
of every year
through different
moods and perceptions
rewinding in real time
or fast forward
it reels on.
